I got a 'gold star' today because I managed to keep my spirits up in spite of being 'alone' on the 'day of love.' I am NOT part of a couple anymore. It makes me sad, but it's not something I can change. I've tried. So it's time to accept the hard fact--I'm not part of a couple anymore. So how does one celebrate the 'day of love' with a still-broken heart? Well, I decided I would call everyone I loved, or at least as many of them as I could reach today. I called all my girlfriends, my family, my son, the husband of my friend who died...as many people as I could think of who might be alone and feeling lonely today. I was able to reach most of them, and talking to my friends and family lifted my spirits tremendously. It actually began to feel like a good day...

Then, I had guests checking in this afternoon, and I realized once again how very much I enjoy sharing this house with others, making their time here special and romantic, even if my own life feels far less than that right now. Even when it's lonely for me, I'm happy to be able to share this house with others. I feel I've come 'home' to the thing I'm supposed to be doing, and I hope the Universe will help me continue on this path, at least for the immediate future...While it's sometimes hard to do it alone, it still feels like 'this is where I belong...' Weird.

So today is yet another milestone to pass in what has been a year of milestones. Some day perhaps I will look back and wonder that I felt sad or alone or even dismayed that my life had taken such a turn. For today, I still wish things were different, but I'm proud of myself for finding ways to feel good about life. I suppose that's all that really matters in the end, just being alive...